So your child has asked to start therapy. This can be a confusing realm to navigate, but we're here to help! There are many things to consider when it comes to therapy - does your child have a preference for gender, in-person or online sessions, what modality, and the list goes on and on. There are a few important factors that therapists have that also need to be addressed.
First things first, Age: Here in Colorado, we are unique in that our age of consent for therapy is 12 years old. Now you may be thinking "12?! My child does not understand the nuances of consenting to their own therapy, let alone paying for it." You may be correct there, but this rule has come into place after years of children struggling to get the support they need. This does not mean that I will not include you in the treatment, but if they do not want certain aspects (that do not include harm to self or others) discussed with you, we will respect their wishes. With this, they will need to sign a Release of Information (ROI) so that we have a clear understanding of what stays between us and what you receive. That being said, if they would like you to complete the paperwork and have a relationship as well, we are also happy to oblige. In Montana, the age of consent for therapy is 16 years old unless that child has been married, divorced after a marriage, pregnant, has graduated from high school, or has a child. These limitations, similar to Colorado, require a parent or guardian's consent if they do not meet these requirements.
Next Communication: There are times when you, the parent, may want to communicate separately with the therapist, and with proper documentation, we have the ability to do so. Many therapists, including this practice, encourage communication between the parents and child first. This ensures that the client has the ability to discuss their perspective before involving the therapist. When this is not the case, we address that because the child is the client, we will be informing them of what was discussed when they were not present unless there are legal or other repercussions. This is not to make you the bad guy but rather to allow for information from both parties. There are few times when keeping secrets from children is warranted, such as if a divorce is imminent but has not been discussed yet or if a family member is ill and the child will be informed soon. These cases allow the therapist to come prepared for the session and provide additional support.
Medication/Higher levels of care: These can be scary topics in therapy for clients and their family members. Recommending medication or attending higher levels of care is not an easy conclusion to come to. There is a large negative connotation to medication, and parents may not want to change their children. Yet, in attending therapy, we are inherently looking for a positive change. We look to utilize medication when the child is not experiencing the change and growth that they could be. Statistically, studies have shown that therapy along with medication tends to produce the best results. There are cases where medication is inappropriate as well, such as if a child is primarily working on communication and processing emotions. In these cases, it is unlikely that medication would make a difference. If your child is deemed to benefit from medication, this is a process that we offer to support by speaking with the prescriber, monitoring symptoms, and teaching advocacy. It is also similar if we determine that a higher level of care, such as a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) or Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), would be more beneficial for the child. When in these programs, we offer support by doing check-ins with the program and family, as well as working to set up a plan for treatment after programming. Going into a program does not mean that the therapist doesn't care or is breaking up with you. It's actually the opposite! We recognize when our abilities and availability are limiting your growth. We want to see you succeed at the end of the day, and sometimes that means trying something new!
The Therapist's Role: Every child is unique, and our roles as therapists change slightly based on this. The goal is to never make the parents out to be the bad guy and the therapist as the savior. We want to see your relationship thrive in therapy, but there may be times when your child leaves therapy and is still processing something that upset them from a fight earlier in the week with you. We are looking to validate their feelings, teach them how to express themselves effectively, and ultimately help them face their challenges and frustrations. There are also times when we may agree more with you and may be the "bad guy" in setting the record straight. There is even the possibility that I may recommend you also attend therapy to connect further with your child and understand how your behaviors and choices impact them. This recommendation is never made with malicious intent; rather, the opposite! If you see how beneficial therapy is for your child, why not provide yourself with that same support and benefit?
If this post feels like a lot to take in, don't worry! Feel free to ask any questions you may have for the therapist before starting treatment. Our goal is for you and your child to feel as comfortable and prepared as can be. Contact Taylor Kucensky via phone or email to arrange a complimentary consultation and begin your child's support journey today!
